As a kid, I couldn't wait to be grown-up. I thought of all the cool things I'd do and how I'd be a better adult than my parents. Here's a rundown of all the things I do that have made my adulthood dreams come true:
1) Drinking while you cook. I always envisioned being totally plastered in front of the oven. It's a reality.
2) Walking around naked when you are alone. Why dirty up a towel? Doing laundry is boring as an adult.
3) Setting your alarm clock to NPR. Steve Inskeep has infiltrated my dreams on more than one occasion.
4) Eating ice cream for dinner. What is dinner, anyway, when you don't have a table to sit down at?
5) Having a budget. Oh, I've already dreamed of that! It's so glamorous.
6) Not following your budget. Well, sometimes when you're drunk cooking you make too many mistakes and have to order out for pizza.
7) Ordering out for pizza. I have never done this as an adult.
8) Eating leftovers...even when they might be expired.
9) Student loans. You're not an adult these days if you don't have crushing debt.
10) Apartments with no air conditioning. Or dishwashers. Or garbage disposals. These are luxuries.
11) Flossing. Because suddenly you care about your teeth.
12) Not showering every day. Because suddenly you don't feel as dirty anymore. And you have to keep your water bill low.
13) Accepting free food. Anywhere. Anytime. Maybe even pestering people to give it to you. You want to eat sometime, you know.
14) Soaking your feet in a casserole dish because it's the biggest dish you own. If your food dishes don't have multiple uses, you're not doing it right.
15) Sleeping 'til noon on weekends.
16) Not having any idea what you're doing with your life.
17) Drinking coffee in the shower. While wearing sunglasses.
18) BYOB potlucks every weekend. And everyone brings chips and salsa.
19) Having weird and hard-to-remember dietary restrictions. But everyone can still eat chips and salsa.
20) Living worlds apart from your BF4L. And getting that Journey song stuck in your head every time you think about it. :(
